stirfriedawesomesauce:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

smurflewis:

Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it’s kind of a mess and everyone is talking and I sort of just blurt out:

“Man, it’s a zoo in here!”

Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.

Then I realized.

I work at a zoo.

Update: my boss was talking about how he was really excited for an entire week of vacation and was wondering what he should do, so I looked him dead in the eye and told him, with a straight face,

“You should visit the local Zoo, I heard it’s really nice.”

Under pain of death I am no longer allowed to make any zoo related jokes.

Part three: I was cleaning the squirrel monkeys and one of them kept trying to climb up me so I sort of just yelled

“WILL YOU STOP MONKEYING AROUND??”

I forgot my boss was in the next room and he walked and just glared at me

Please never stop doing the lord’s work